I’ve always grown up around plants
As a child, I would play in the dirt as my mom planted daffodils and perennials
While she trimmed bushes and laid down pungent mulch
I would proudly grab roly-polies and worms to show her

Flora was no stranger inside our home either
Well-loved houseplants inhabited landings and corners
While bouquets were placed in vases
Lettuce, scallions, and strawberries that were grown outside soon found their home on our table
And the fuzzy little green worms I found on the lettuce plants would crawl on my palm

My mother taught me about the healing properties that plants and nature housed
Turmeric, onions, honey, or garlic could rid me of a sore throat
Bunches of lavender would help me relax
And aromatic pots with concoctions of ginger, rosemary, and bay leaves often lived on our stovetop

As my sister and I grew up
More elaborate greenery appeared on tables and in rooms
They became my mother's project during quarantine
And her new babies

I learned that gardening is one of the common grounds my mom shares with her mother
They call and tell each other about what they have in their garden
And exchange care tips and gardening book titles
Sometimes they even mail or bring bulbs and sprouts to each other

I began to share my mom’s love for houseplants
I kept my own measly succulents and squishy cacti
As she tended her ethereal pothos and pruned her wandering Jews
While she nursed her bromeliad back to health
I would accidentally starve my bear paw or overwater my African violets

She bought me succulents that reminded me of her
She gave me offshoots of her hens and chicks
That I would usually kill accidentally
But some made it to college with me

As I began caring for my own plants away from home
I realized how important they were to me
They populated my dorm
They reminded me of my mom
And they gave me something to take care of

And as winter rolled in
And the air chilled
And tears began falling more frequently, I realized
My plants reflected my livelihood

When I thrived
They lived
And they died
If I wanted to

I came to realize
When others would hurt me
They would hurt my plants too
Their leaves soaked up people’s malice
Their roots absorbed tainted water

My mom and I still send each other pictures of plants often
Every tulip, mushroom, and lily reminds me of her
And she has a specific cactus with a little yellow flower in her window that reminds her of me

She was one of the first people to get the news that I was considering going by the name Lavender
After all, she gave me my first name
And I wouldn’t be using the name if it wasn’t for her
So, with her blessing more or less, I added the name Lavender to my repertoire

I’m eternally grateful for my plants
So many of them wilted to keep me here
Now, each new plant I acquire
Whether I get them from Walgreens or raffles,
I treat them with more love than the last

I talk to them, I decorate them, I water them, and I cherish them
Just as my mother does to her plants
And her mother does to her plants
And just as I would want someone to do to me

Because if I’m gone
Who will water my plants?